Return-Path: Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: (qmail 7403 invoked from network); 23 Mar 2003 08:25:48 -0000 Received: from bne004se.server-mail.com (203.147.241.115) by 0 with SMTP; 23 Mar 2003 08:25:48 -0000 Received: (qmail 17091 invoked from network); 23 Mar 2003 08:25:45 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO bne063v.webcentral.com.au) (202.139.234.63) by bne004se.server-mail.com with SMTP; 23 Mar 2003 08:25:45 -0000 Subject: Fathers -Advancing the Family Sender: "Fatherhood Foundation" From: "Fatherhood Foundation" Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2003 18:25:44 +1000 To: "Warwick Marsh" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-USER_IP: 203.166.57.8 X-Mailer: JMail 4.1.0 by Dimac Message-ID: <003301c1cfc4$27ced2d0$0800a8c0@bosweb.com.au> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="--NEXT_BM_D472AD6CA86445F9A9AB9FACE7413E56" This is a multipart message in MIME format. ----NEXT_BM_D472AD6CA86445F9A9AB9FACE7413E56 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable Newsletter Issue No=2E 30-24th March, 2003 In this issue: - Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg - Dads with Young Children - Grandads - Laughter - Single Dads - Special Feature - Thought for the Week - News & Info - Dad's Prayer - Mission Statement & Help Us! Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg ---------------------- Dear Mark, WAR fills the headlines=2E=A0 Australia has joined USA and Britain in the fi= ght against the evils of Saddam Hussein=2E=A0 Saddam is the sort of Prime Mi= nister who takes his revolver to Cabinet Meetings to kill those who disagree= with him=2E=A0 He even tests his nerve gas and chemical weapons on his own = people=2E=A0 The unfortunate reality of this war is that innocent women and = children will bear the brunt of Saddam Hussein=92s guilt=2E=A0 War is a terr= ible thing=2E=A0 Usually the innocent suffer for the guilt of others=2E=A0 M= others and fathers mourn the loss of their children who are called upon to f= ight the enemy=2E =A0 In the midst of war, prayer suddenly becomes popular=2E=A0 I noticed a headl= ine this week that said =91Godspeed=92 with a photo of a solder and a little= boy over his shoulder with a sad look and a toy flag in his hand=2E=A0 The = real tragedy is - why does it take a war for human beings to begin to place = importance on relationships and family=3F=A0 Why does it take a war before p= eople will begin to pray=3F=A0 President Bush talked about prayer a number o= f times in his address to his nation=2E=A0 Don=92t forget his nation=92s cou= rts have banned prayer in schools=2E =A0How ironic! Australia=92s Prime Mini= ster even talked about our prayers and hopes being with our troops=2E=A0 Don= =92t get me wrong, I=92m all for prayer, but maybe if we had prayed more in = times of peace as a nation we wouldn=92t be having a war now=2E =A0 Lovework =A0 I passionately believe in the power of prayer so I will be joining the thous= ands of others who will pray for peace=2E I will pray that Saddam Hussein will be brought to justice=2E=A0 I will join with those who will pray for the innocent women and children and= civilians of Iraq and other countries caught in the madness of war=2E=A0 I will pray for the soldiers who are putting their lives on the line beneath= their flag, that they will be kept safe on their mission=2E=A0 I will pray that all will return home to their loved ones and families=2E I will also pray that the families of Australia will not lose sight of the i= mportance of their relationships=2E I pray that fathers will realise they are important to their families=2E I will also pray that our father in heaven will turn the hearts of the fathe= rs to the hearts of the children lest the curse of war overtakes us all=2E=A0= =A0 Will you join me=3F =A0 Yours for the power of prayer Warwick Marsh =A0 PS=2E Last Wednesday our =91Fathering from the Fast Lane=92 Dinner with parl= iamentarians in Canberra went well=2E=A0 Check out the report in the News an= d Info section=2E =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Warwick Marsh is the founder of the Fatherhood Foundation=2E=A0 Married for = 27 years he is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging = in age from 22 years to=A010 years=2E=A0 Warwick is a musician, songwriter, = producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself= =2E =A0 Dads with Young Children ---------------------- THE ART OF FATHERING=A0 =A0 Over the past few months I have witnessed the unfolding of a pending world w= ar, although not really having an opinion or real discernment that it may ev= er actually happen=2E Well, as of today, I am starting to realise that we ar= e just about at the start of something very, very frightening=2E Quite often= someone will raise the topic of war over a cup of coffee, just making small= talk, killing a bit of time =96 the flavour of the month seems to be war=2E= People discuss it with a sense of disbelief, seemingly with little thought = as to the consequence=2E However, I believe deep down inside, many of those = people have a real concern for their future, and in particular, the future o= f their children=2E =A0 Should we be worried=3F As members of the =93Lucky Country=94 should war be = an issue for us lucky ones to even consider=3F Aren=92t we a little too far = away to be bothered=3F What do we have in the way of natural resource that c= ould possibly interest =91them=92=3F Although weapons of mass destruction ma= y never cross our shores (and we must continually pray for this very matter)= , we will most definitely feel the effect of global unrest in one way or ano= ther=2E Consider the families of those men and women in the armed forces, al= ready being despatched to overseas mission posts=2E Consider the effect it w= ill have on our economy =96 fuel prices, trade decrease from middle-east cou= ntries (and their allies), reduction in air travel (due to logistical nightm= ares and safety concerns for air-force operations), trade veto=92s and tarif= f increases from those anti-war nations just to name a few=2E Consider the p= ressure placed on John Howard =96 will people remember him for the way he ha= s turned the Australian economy around; 18% interest rates down to 5%, low u= nemployment, Olympic game glory=2E The sad thing is John Howard will go down= in history as the =93PM who took Australia to war=94=2E =A0 I feel it important to reflect on the role John Howard has to play as Austra= lia=92s PM=2E We are in debt to the USA both financially, and historically=2E= The USA is the cornerstone of world commerce, and without her, many other c= ountries would realise just how non self-sufficient they really are=2E Histo= rically, we should be forever grateful for the efforts of the USA in the Sec= ond World War, for without their intervention, we would perhaps be a very di= fferent looking nation today=2E My view - I believe John Howard has probably= the world=92s second most non-enviable position today (behind George W), an= d people need to think about the tight position he is in=2E =A0Let's pray for him=2E Is this an =91I love John Howard=92 message=3F No, it is simply a reality ch= eck to all those (including me) who haven=92t taken this war situation serio= usly =96 guess what =96 it=92s time=2E Also, the need to remember how our co= untry=92s leaders must be feeling right now, sending loved ones to war =96 i= t can=92t be easy, after all they have children too=2E And finally, to all p= arents out there; pray for the future of our children, pray for peace, and p= ray for wisdom for all the world=92s leaders, that they may make the right d= ecision for all involved=2E After all, war is not the answer friends =96 onl= y peace can win this war! =A0 Till next time, PAUL =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Paul Sloan is an accountant working in Maroochydoore=2E=A0 He is married wit= h three children aged one, nine and eleven years=2E=A0 Paul is an active sur= fer who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland=2E=A0 He is a family man w= ho hasn=92t lost his sense of humour=2E Grandads ---------------------- God did not tell men to be truce-makers but peace makers=2E =A0 Ed Cole Laughter ---------------------- Pulling out teethOne day a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth=2E 'Eighty dollars,' the dentist says=2E 'That's a ridiculous amount,' the man says=2E 'Isn't there a cheaper way=3F' 'Well,' the dentist says, 'if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60=2E' 'That's still too expensive,' the man says=2E 'Okay,' says the dentist=2E 'If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $20=2E' 'Nope,' moans the man, 'it's still too much=2E' 'Hmm,' says the dentist, scratching his head=2E 'If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $10=2E' 'Marvelous,' says the man, 'book my wife for next Tuesday!' Single Dads ---------------------- The Childcare industry and the De-Fathering of Society =A0 Part 3:=A0 Social Engineering through Childcare Funding: No Place for Dad by Roland Foster =A0 The childcare industry is experiencing phenomenal growth and providing lucra= tive returns for the owners of private childcare centres=2E=A0 This growth i= s fed by the provision of government funding for childcare=2E =A0 While the subsidies are designed to encourage mothers of young children to w= ork, the benefits are available also to sole mothers=2E=A0 However the =91as= sistance=92 sole parents get from other government agencies encourages them = not to work, and imposes severe financial penalties on them if they allow th= e=A0father to care for his children=2E =A0 The cost of childcare for sole parents receiving social security varies, but= can be as low as about $5 per day=2E=A0 For $5 per day a custodial parent c= an off-load their responsibilities to a government funded profit making chil= dcare centre without risking their income stream=2E=A0 They are not required= to inform the Child Support Agency which continues to create =91child suppo= rt=92 entitlements and enforce it=92s collection on their behalf=2E =A0 For $5 a day a custodial parent can go off and amuse themselves, while colle= cting a parenting allowance of up to $421=2E50 per fortnight and the associa= ted benefits, rent assistance of up to $120 per fortnight, family allowance = of up to $160 per fortnight for each child, and child support of up to $1,35= 3=2E30 per fortnight =96 all tax free=2E =A0 And as for the non-custodial parent grieving over the loss of contact time w= ith their children=3F=A0 Where is their place in this landscape of benefits,= subsidies, assistance, tax-free income, entitlements and profit=3F Every non-custodial parent knows the answers to these questions=2E =A0 There is no place=2E =A0 The effect of childcare subsidies on separated fathers and their children wa= s never considered by the government or factored into the design of their po= licies=2E =A0 I know of one father who desperately wants to care for his young children an= d has the capacity to do so=2E=A0 He wants no subsidies or financial benefit= s=2E=A0 He just wants to be a father to his children=2E=A0 These children ar= e in subsidised childcare being looked after by paid workers=2E=A0 They are = there for 5 days per week from 7=2E30 am until 5=2E30 pm=2E=A0 Because he is= not caring for his children the father has to pay child support to the moth= er=2E=A0 The mother, who has priorities other than the personal care of her = children would surrender huge financial benefits if she allowed the father t= o care for his children=2E =A0 This should be criminal, but it=92s not=2E=A0 It=92s the law=2E Australian l= aw=2E Australian family law=2E =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Roland Foster is an non-custodial father, separated since 1997, with 5 young= children aged between 6 and 14 years=2E=A0 Roland is a passionate father an= d an active social reformer who believes Australia's current laws are contri= buting to the creation of our fatherless society=2E Special Feature ---------------------- Creative Behavioural Modification =A0 A constant challenge facing parents is getting your child to modify behaviou= r that is becoming inappropriate=2E Being children, their natural tendency i= s to explore and go and do what they feel like doing=2E Constantly reminding= children =93Don=92t do this, don=92t do that=94 is not productive either=2E= =A0 Instead of using negative consequences to modify behaviour, how about findin= g more creative ways and engaging your child in the process=3F Let me share = with you a recent example=2E My 7 year old loves teasing his older cousins (= girls) staying with us at present=2E He loves tickling them and at times lif= ts up their dress slightly=2E Consequently such behaviour is disturbing to h= is cousins=2E Upon speaking to him, he says that he forgot that he was not s= upposed to do that, even after being told=2E =A0 A brainwave found me offering my son the option of discipline ie withdrawal = of privileges or participating in a creative solution to the problem=2E Afte= r some discussion, we came=A0up with=A0the idea that he will imagine that hi= s cousins have a shield around them that will zap him if he touches them=2E = So far, this is working well and just requires a reminder from me from time = to time=2E =A0 This process requires the co-operation of your child and the foundation of a= good relationship=2E If the issue is wilful disobedience, then this method = has limited value as consequences for wilful disobedience will have to be me= ted out=2E =A0 Whenever you have a behavioural problem, may I encourage you to stop and ask= the question =93How can we resolve this in a positive and creative way=3F=94= The brain is a wonderful resource when you ask it specific and good questio= ns=2E With some thinking, usually a solution comes to one of you=2E Explaini= ng to your child the overall intent of what you are doing is always very imp= ortant=2E =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Richard Yiap is married to Yokai and they have one son=2E Fathering is a gre= at passion of Richard's and his time is devoted to mentoring and assisting y= oung people in personal development and growth=2E Thought for the Week ---------------------- The best protection a Father can=A0provide for his children =A0is to pray fo= r them by name everyday=2E =A0 News & Info ---------------------- =A0 =A0 Report on the =91Fathering from the Fast Lane=92 Dinner held Wednesday, 19th= March, 03 with Dr Bruce Robinson by Warwick Marsh =A0 The Fathering from the Fast lane Dinner was a great success=2E=A0 A dozen po= liticians gathered to hear Dr Bruce Robinson, one of Australia=92s best sell= ing authors on fatherhood, talk over dinner and lead a workshop discussion f= eaturing the Hon Kim Beazley, former leader of the Labor Party and Deputy Pr= ime Minister, the Hon John Anderson=2E=A0 Both men shared some excellent ins= ights into fatherhood and interestingly the discussion swung around to marri= age and family relationships=2E=A0 The time was both challenging and openhea= rted=2E=A0 John Anderson and Kim Beazley have been able to sustain good rela= tionships with their children in spite of impossible schedules=2E=A0 Both ar= e to be congratulated and encouraged as exemplary fathers and committed husb= ands=2E =A0 If you would like to find out more, read =91Fathering from the Fast Lane=92 = by Dr Bruce Robinson, www=2Efinch=2Ecom=2Eau (http://www=2Efinch=2Ecom=2Eau/= )=A0 In this book both John Anderson and Kim Beazley tell it like it is and = give some excellent advice to dads=2E =A0 Grateful thanks go to Senator Paul Calvert and the Hon Kerry Bartlett for sp= onsoring the event in Parliament House=2E=A0 Please write to these four fath= ers and thank them for their open hearted support of the work of the Fatherh= ood Foundation, =91helping fathers be better fathers=92=2E =A0 During the day we had excellent discussions with MP Michael Organ, the Green= Party, and Mark Latham, a leading spokesman for the Labor Party=2E=A0 Mark = is also a passionate father=2E=A0 He was the first Member of Parliament to b= ring his baby into the House of Representatives=2E=A0 We also had the pleasu= re of speaking to MP Kay Elson, a wonderful mother of 8 children and 13 gran= d children=2E=A0 Other members that we talked to included Larry Anthony, Min= ister for Children and Youth Affairs, Ross Cameron, Secretary to Family and = Community and the Hon John Forrest, as well as many others=2E=A0 One thing t= hat strikes me every time I talk to parliamentarians is how much our politic= ians need our support and encouragement=2E=A0 The pressures they face are im= mense=2E=A0 Up to half the year is spent away from their children and famili= es=2E=A0 Many work 60 to 80 hours per week=2E=A0 The divorce rate among poli= ticians is higher than the rest of the community, some have even committed s= uicide=2E=A0 Yes I know many in the community want change, including us, but= maybe we would do better to write down our words of encouragement to our po= liticians=2E=A0 Let=92s honour them=2E=A0 Let=92s not run them down but buil= d them up=2E=A0 Let=92s even pray for them=2E =A0 Our politicians are no different to you and me=2E=A0 We all struggle with ou= r family relationships=2E=A0 Let=92s support them and show our appreciation,= friendship and support=2E=A0 It=92s just like being a father=2E=A0 True cha= nge comes out of a positive loving relationship=2E =A0 Start writing some letters of encouragement to any of the above members or y= our own local member c/- Parliament House, Canberra ACT 2600=2E=A0 All their= addresses and email contacts are at www=2Eaph=2Egov=2Eau (http://www=2Eaph=2E= gov=2Eau/) =A0 Dad's Prayer ---------------------- God, you said in your bible, =91Perilous times will come=92=2E These must be those days=2E God, forgive us for the prayers we haven=92t prayed=2E Forgive us for not forgiving others=2E Forgive us for our hard and unforgiving hearts=2E =A0 We pray for peace in the world but as Mother Teresa said, =91Let that peace begin in our own home=92=2E =A0 We pray for the families in the Middle East caught in crossfire of war and the plight of the innocent, Father, protect them from evil=2E We pray for the safety for the armed forces, that they would all return home safely to their families=2E =A0 Father, most of all we pray that you would turn the hearts Of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers= Because love begins in the home And home is where the heart is So Father, fill my heart with love=2E =A0=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F Mission Statement & Help Us! ---------------------- Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated associati= on with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, b= y encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families=2E= Click here for more information about us (http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/f= athers/about/index=2Ehtml) Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is=A0giving=2E That'= s why this newsletter is given freely without expectation=2E=A0 Life is also= about relationships=2E=A0=A0That's=A0what being a good father is all about,= developing close relationships with your loved ones=2E=A0 The Fatherhood Foundation would like to develop long term friendships with t= hose who give=2E We gratefully accept one off gifts and sponsorships=2E Our = preference though, is for regular giving partnerships=2E Your gift will help= us change=A0our world=A0for the better, one father at a time=2E Give on line at www=2Efathersonline=2Eorg (http://www=2Efathersonline=2Eorg/= ) - a secure site=2E []=B7[Donate Online (http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/fathers/help/index=2Eh= tml)] You have received the fathersonline=2Eorg newsletter because you have subscr= ibed, or you have been subscribed by a friend=2E=A0 If you do not wish to re= ceive future emails, please click the=A0UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an = email to info@fathersonline=2Eorg (mailto:info@fathersonline=2Eorg) with the= word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading=2E ----NEXT_BM_D472AD6CA86445F9A9AB9FACE7413E56 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable